I never imagined...

my heart would have room for two beautiful boys.





But then you came along...

and swept me off my feet...

just like Daddy...

Blessed

My sister and her sweet friend hosted baby shower #1 for me this weekend. It was awesome. It was so special to be able to share this special time with old and new friends. This baby boy is definitely loved. If he came tomorrow...he would be set.


My very talented friend painted this for Mason. I LOVE it. It matches his room to the T and is going to look so sweet on the hospital door.


These sweet girls were the best little helpers. At this particular moment, Ainsley was knocking on my belly trying to find Mason. They just knew he was under my dress somewhere...they even tried to have a look or two.

Shane was such a sweet boy. He was so excited to see me open the gifts. Seems like yesterday that I was able to hold his little behind in my arms. Where has the time gone?

The Sallis crew. Love these sweet girls.






Sweet Lindsey and I had a little photo shoot at the end of the shower. Little did I know that I would end up with my maternity pictures by the end of the day. How talented is she?! I am so blessed to have these sweet ladies in my life. They made this day extra special for me and I know that I definitely have two super moms to call for advice after this sweet boy gets here. I spent the entire evening after the shower washing baby clothes and organizing his room. I am beyond excited. I am beyond ready.

I am blessed.

We will be 31 weeks Wednesday. Time really has flown by. My little belly bug has grown lots over the past month. According to my babycenter update...I am carrying a baby that matches the weight of four navel oranges. He should weigh about 3 1/2 pounds this week. The doc said he is measuring a few days early, so possibly a little more. To be honest, I thought they were going to tell me he already weighs a big 5 pounds at my last appointment. I just keep thinking he is going to be a "big un" (as my sweet, country husband says).

We are getting his nursery ready. We got his crib. Blake put it together all by himself and is so proud. It is precious. We have a dresser/changing table that was actually Blake's when he was a baby so it is super special. I am having my Dad sand and stain it to match the crib. I can't wait to see the end result and I will post pics.

I am beyond ready to meet this little boy. The dreams have started again. Just last night, I dreamed about the hospital and labor and him in my arms. Oh, how sweet this day will be. I don't think anyone has stared at these 4d sono pics as much as I have. Every time I look at them, my heart melts. I already want so much for my sweet man. I already want to give him the world.

I can't wait to see my precious husband hold him in his arms. He is going to be a father. My son's father. The best father. I have no doubt in my mind. I am so excited that I get to share this sweet bundle of joy with him.

The countdown has begun....we have 9 weeks to go. Doesn't that sound so much better than 2 months?

Sweetness

11 more weeks and I get to kiss this sweet face. Thank you, Lord, for such a sweet blessing.

Flood Update

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25-27

Our world has been rocked over the past few weeks. Completely turned upside down. Something we were not prepared for...in any way...what so ever.

But God has been good to us. So very good to us.

Blake and I found out that we had to evacuate our home in a day's notice. I can't even begin to explain how I felt when I got the news. Honestly....numb is the only word that comes to mind. Looking back now, I can just remember sitting at our house, staring at the wall...thinking about where I should start? What should we take? Thinking. Not moving. Not doing a thing.

Blake was still having to work in the midst of all this craziness so the pressure was on to get it done in the best way I could. Can we say stressed? God bless our families. Blake's Mom came and helped out with the smaller things and my Dad rented a truck and brought a crew and packed up all of the big stuff. I didn't lift a finger. Bless him.

In a matter of two days, the entire first 2 1/2 years of our marriage were packed in boxes and hauled to Sallis. Of course, I am thrilled to be back home. So happy. But I honestly never imagined we would be back home due to these circumstances. Amazingly, the crazy, high strung, easily stressed Ashlee that I know myself to be....has been completely calm and at peace throughout this entire process. God is good. We had a house to move right into and tons of help to do it. Everything seems to be falling into place. I give all the credit to God.

Thank you, Lord, for loving us unconditionally. You have never failed us. You continue to amaze me every day. I love you with my whole heart. Amen.

Flood Ahead

When I moved to the lake to be with Blake as he started his new job at a hunting lodge near the MS River, I had no idea that I would soon be surrounded with river water. The MS river had risen drastically and we were having to drive to town on a levee within the first 2 weeks that I moved there. Our drive to the nearest grocery store is about 35 miles-- so imagine how long it takes on a bumpy, gravel levee where cows have the right away! It was terrible. Animals that once roamed all the land available to them, were now bunched up on the few tiny spaces that were not flooded with water. Homes were literally under water. So sad. Thankfully, the water did not reach our home that is NOT on stilts like most homes here are.

It looks like the worst is yet to come as far as flooding goes in the next few weeks. It has been all over the news and they are already warning us that our homes could possibly be flooded. I desperately hope this does not happen, but at least we have a "heads up". Please keep us and all of the residents here in your prayers as we prepare for this historic event. To learn more I have posted a link below:
Forecasters predict record flooding along MS River - WLBT 3 - Jackson, MS:

Today has been a beautiful day. We would have loved to have been able to make it home this weekend but this past month of driving back and forth has literally tired me out. Living out of my suitcase was getting a little irritating...so, we took the weekend off and stayed on the lake. We started it off by attending the service at Eagle Lake Baptist. Came home and relaxed for a bit. Then we headed to the lodge and did a little fishing. Well, Blake did some fishing and Missy and I lounged on my lawn chair and read a book. I wish I had some pictures to share but my camera is broken. Hoping to get a new one before little man arrives anyway :) Speaking of little man....I ordered his coming home outfit today. Of course, you already know....It is camo. His Daddy is so proud.

Now, we're back at home...watching a good game between the Braves and the Giants and frying up some deer meat. One craving that has not faded since I have been pregnant is fried deer meat! I wish I could post the scent of my house in this blog right now for you. It is amazing.

We plan on being pretty lazy for the rest of the evening. Blake has tomorrow off so we are hoping to finish cleaning out the extra bedrooms. I have no clue how we have managed to acquire so much "junk" over the years.

It's hard to believe that this time next year we will be celebrating Easter with our baby. Although I cannot wait to shower him with precious gifts from the "Easter Bunny", I hope to instill in him the true meaning of Easter. Our Savior died so that we may live and continues to bless us although we are nowhere near perfect or deserving. I am so proud to be a child of God...especially today.
Happy Easter!

6 months

6 months tomorrow? Really? It seems like yesterday we were finding out about this little man. Days like today, I feel that time has really flown by but there are other days when I feel like August is never going to get here.

Mason now weighs just over a pound and is about the size of an ear of corn in length.

I am feeling him move around every day now and it is wonderful and so very reassuring. You can definitely tell that I am pregnant now! I have had the hardest time finding things to wear lately. Thank God for big sisters who have been through this before :) Thanks, T.

We have picked out the paint color for Mason's room. My big project for this week is cleaning out our two extra bedrooms so that we can get started on it. His bedding has arrived and it is adorable. I can't wait to see it all come together. If you know me, you know that I am so very organized and love to plan (I've heard this may change after babies). I think I have already developed the nesting fever. I have been cleaning out our entire house in order to prep for our little boy's arrival.

I will be going to the doc a week from today for our monthly checkup. I'm going to schedule our 4d sonogram at this visit. I can't wait. This whole experience has been so amazing. We experience something new every day and with each day that passes, I know that I am one day closer to meeting our precious baby boy. God has truly blessed us beyond our wildest dreams. I've said this before and I'll say it again....I deserve nothing He has given me. I am just a thorn in Your crown, Lord...but thank you, thank you, thank you for loving me anyway.

I have been up since 4 this morning. Blake slowly but surely stole my new preggo pillow during the night, so sleep just wasn't happening for me. Guess I better get used to that. Speaking of my preggo pillow....best thing EVER. It is the most perfect thing for a good night's rest when your belly is growing like crazy. My belly is definitely growing like crazy.
This is Blake the weekend I got it. I think we may need to invest in a second pillow....

I have been on cloud nine since Tuesday. We have a son on the way. This is so amazing. Blake is just beside himself--I'm sure this isn't hard to believe. I can't wait to see him with his boy. I have no doubt in my mind that he is going to be the best daddy. The look on his face when he feels Mason kicking is just priceless. It is the cutest thing. He just smiles and giggles.

We will be 22 weeks tomorrow. Time's a flyin'!

It's a.......

BOY!

This has been one of the best days of my life. I went to bed pretty early last night in hopes that morning would be there before I knew it. Of course, I woke up every hour to look at the clock. I ended up waking up at 4. I cooked breakfast, cleaned my house, watched a few Baby Storys on TLC and then started to get ready for the big day. I even texted my Mom at 5 this morning. I was too excited. Blake took off work for the entire day so I woke him up at 8 singing :) He is not a morning person AT ALL but he, surprisingly, didn't growl at me. He was excited too :)

We left the house a little early. Blake had to get fitted for a tux. He is in a wedding in June so we knocked that out of the way. We ate lunch. Well, Blake ate lunch. I was so nervous I could hardly even look at my food. I am not real sure what I was so nervous about but my stomach was in knots. Finally....the time had come.

My mom and Blake's mom met us at the hospital. My appointment was at 1 but we waited for 15-20 minutes before we got in. At this time, all of our phones were blowing up with "What is it?" "Is it a girl?" "It's a girl, right?!". (There were lots and lots of girl predictions) Finally, my name was called and we were ready for our life changing moment to begin. We waited in the room for 5-10 minutes. Blake began to play the penny toss game. Heads-boy. Tails-girl. He was anxious :) My favorite nurse was our little helper today. She performed the sonogram and asked us all before she started what we thought it was. Of course, Blake said BOY. I didn't want to say. I actually have not even told many people what I thought it was this entire time because I was going to be happy either way and I didn't want to be wrong. The nurse told me she needed one very last guess and I blurted out BOY. I mean I have been having dreams about a sweet baby boy almost every night for several weeks so....

The fun began.

It was instantaneous. She said, "Okay, do you guys want to know what this baby is?!" Blake yelled out, " It's a boy." I couldn't tell because I was laughing so hard at Blake. Nurse yells, "It IS a boy!!." Music to my ears. I was so excited. I can't even begin to express to you how excited I was in that moment. A beautiful boy. A very beautiful, active, baby boy. He was putting on a show for us. He waved. He bounced. He kicked. I loved seeing his little fingers move around. It was so amazing. Nurse said everything looks perfect. He is perfect. No more he/she. Meet Mason Laws Barber....

Halfway there!

Well...we are halfway there! 5 months today. I have grown a lot over the past few weeks. Some days, I wake up, look in the mirror, and think I may have swallowed a cantaloupe in my sleep :) I am feeling the baby every day which is so wonderful. Not real strong kicks just yet but he/she is definitely having a big time in there. I will be so glad when I don't have to call the baby he/she anymore. Less than a week!

Blake has been so sweet and helpful. I am already not sleeping very well. My back has been killing me. He has now given up his man chair (the recliner) each evening since it is the only place I can get comfortable these days and he rubs my back when it is aching. Last night, I was lying down and Blake had his hand resting on my belly. He laughed. I asked him what he was laughing for and he told me with a smile that he got another high five from the baby :) It makes me so happy that he can actually experience the whole pregnancy thing with me to some extent. I can't wait to see the look on his face when we find out what we are having Tuesday! We are both so thankful for this amazing gift that God has blessed us with.

To Baby B: You are finally letting Mommy know you are in there! I am so excited. I love you so very much.

Amazing

Let's write this down before we forget how perfect and sweet it was.
3/14/2011
I am lying on the couch. Blake and I are watching TV and I am playing on the computer. Something felt a little "weird" in my belly...like somebody very sweet was trying to let his/her presence be known. I laid my hand on the place I felt the "feeling" and all of a sudden...."HI MOMMY!!!!" I felt that sweet baby move! WITH MY OWN HAND. I have been feeling the little flutters for a few weeks now and they are beginning to become more frequent...but tonight is a night I will never forget. Thank You, God. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Baby B: I can't wait to meet you, sweet baby. Thank you for making my night.

Stealing the Romance

by Janet Morris Grimes

“The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

Sometimes, I feel almost guilty for it. Shouldn’t the promise of heaven be enough to satisfy me? After all, I know how my love story ends; with me riding into the sunset with my Prince, dancing over the hidden threshold into happily ever after.

Still, it is the day-to-day moments we steal along the journey that thrill me most. Regardless of the time of day, He meets me when I am ready, dropping whatever He is doing to focus on me alone. In the car surrounded by the traffic of impatience; a sleepless night gazing at the moonlight; embracing the morning sunrise. He meets me there, whispering in my ear and listening to my concerns. He caresses my hair with a gentle breeze. He tilts my face upward, reminding me of where I will always find my answers.

He never breaks his promises. He waits patiently if I temporarily place my hope of a better future in those around me, then wipes away my tears of disappointment when they occasionally let me down. He goes before me to carve out my path. He walks beside me to provide companionship. He walks behind me to protect me from looking back with regret. He opens doors of opportunity and closes doors that bring pain. He prefers for me not to learn the hard way, but still holds me when I do. He allows me to misplace my anger toward others and direct it His way.

He overlooks my grumpy days. He knows I forget to say thank you. He works around my laziness, and condemns my fears for holding me back. When I ignore His voice of guidance, He waits until I am ready, gently tugging on the heart until I get strong enough for the next journey. Somehow, He shines through my imperfections without making me feel shameful for them.

Like the gentleman who bends tenderly down on one knee to announce to the world, “I adore you and long to spend forever with you, starting today.” That is all I need to know. I do not deserve such love, but I accept. I accept. Always, I accept.

Dear God, thank you so much for the way that You love us, as if we are your one and only. Teach us to watch for Your signs of affection, to recognize Your gentle caresses in our daily lives. Teach us to rest in Your love, and Yours alone; understanding that our other relationships can only be blessed once we are right with You. Above all else, thank you for asking us to join You for the rest of eternity. In Jesus’ Name. Amen

And I thought I loved you then...

I was browsing through my sister's blog today. I love watching all of the old videos she has posted of the babies. I found this precious picture as I was looking around. My heart melted when I saw it. This is me and my sweet husband fishing on the most beautiful day.

As I look at this picture, it reminds me of one of the many reasons I fell in love with Blake. We started dating around Spring. I can remember anything we ever did together was always outside--whether it was fishing, riding four wheelers, attempts at taking me turkey hunting, camping, or just riding around in the country on beautiful days like we have had here lately. So, when this time of year rolls around, I feel like I have fallen in love with him all over again. There is just something about it. It takes me back and I can remember exactly the way I felt when I first started seeing him. As cliche as it may sound, I never stop falling in love with him.

It amazes me how different we truly are but yet so very much in love. Blake is just such a happy person. High on life. He is so silly. I have never met anyone who can make me laugh the way he does. I am such a perfectionist--always organized, always stressing. I admire the way he lives from day to day. Never worrying. Always thankful. Always able to make me smile no matter what. We balance each other out. I truly believe God sent him to me for more reasons than I can count...for more reasons than I even know of. He is my angel. He reminds me every day that the simple things in life are what truly matter. It is days like the day in that picture that matter. Enjoying God's beautiful creations. Enjoying His gifts to us. Enjoying each other.

No amount of money, no materialistic thing in this world can beat what this guy has given me. Every day is an adventure with him and I look forward to many, many more. He is my very best friend. My sweet country boy :)

And the countdown begins....

We had our monthly checkup today. Everything looked great. They took blood to test for any abnormalities and I have great faith that everything is going to come back normal. I am so in love with hearing that heart beating. The rush I get when I hear it never gets old. I am just in awe the entire time. It is like a big "Hey there, I love you so much and this is my gift to you," from God. I will thank Him every day until the end of forever for it. Thank you, God. You are so amazing.

Here is the baby bump pic. I will be 17 weeks tomorrow.


Well...the countdown has begun. We have 28 days until we find out the sex of this sweet baby. 28 LONG days. I am so impatient...BUT SO EXCITED.

To baby B: We will be finding out if you are boy or girl soon...either way, we are so blessed to have received such a special gift. I love you.

The Sweetest Dream

I was up at 5:15 this morning almost in tears and if it wasn't such a hard task to get out of bed for me these days, I would have written all about this special dream I had right then. It was the sweetest dream.

I don't know about you, but lots of times, when I think or talk about something before I go to bed...I dream about it. Well, Blake and I were talking about childbirth class last night. We are hoping to make it to a weekend class in June. So anyway, I don't know if this is what sparked the dream or just the fact that this sweet baby is all I think about these days.

We were at the childbirth class. Our doctor was actually there. I was as big as a house so I'm guessing I was due any day now. The next thing you know, I am in the delivery room, waiting to meet our baby. Blake was beside me holding my hand and encouraging me to keep on keeping on. My sweet doc was coaching me through it as well. Before I knew it, I hear "It's a boy!." Our sweet man was in my arms and I was crying tears of joy. He opened his eyes and looked up at us. He had Blake's beautiful blue eyes. It was so obvious how much he looked like Blake that it made us both tear up again and we all just held each other. Our little family. This dream was so, so real and we were so, so happy.

As soon as I woke up, I looked at the clock and it was 5 in the morning. I wanted to wake Blake up so bad and tell him all about it. Instead, I talked to God--thanking him for this amazing gift. If a dream made me feel this way--so thankful, so excited, so full of love--I can only imagine what the day I meet our baby will feel like. Whether it is a boy or girl...I cannot wait. I am already beside myself. I am so grateful and more in love with my God than ever.

To baby B: I am so in love with you...already. I can't wait to kiss your sweet face.

This Week

Since Blake and I found out we are expecting, I get these weekly updates about the baby's growth. Each week, it compares our baby's size to a specific kind of food...mostly fruit. When I talk to my sweet Daddy, he always asks me what kind of fruit little B looks like this week. This is for you, Dad :)

My Heart

“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love… But the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13).


As we grow older together...

As we continue to change with age...

There is one thing that will never change...

I will never stop falling in love with you.



To baby B: I can't wait to have not only one, but two sweet Valentines to share this special day with. I love you.

Sweet T

Today is my oldest sister's birthday. God sent some beautiful snow for her to enjoy on her special day :) One of the things I dislike most about living away from home is all of the special moments I miss with my family. Thank God for Skype because most of the time I am able to sing happy birthday along with the rest of the fam. Unfortunately, I missed the phone call tonight and wasn't able to sing to Tara. I'm sure she was so disappointed that she missed out on my mad happy birthday singing skills! ;) At least we got to have a "pre birthday party" this weekend while we were home!

Happy birthday, T. You make us proud and I am blessed to have you in my life.

To our baby B: Aunt T will be a sweet blessing in your life. Listen to what she has to say :) She's helped your mommy out quite a bit.

Sallis Sundays

We made a spur of the moment trip home this weekend. Yes, we were one of those crazies driving in the winter storm warning weather. We left Thursday evening and totally dodged all of the madness on the stack and took the country way through Yazoo. Surprisingly...we didn't have a drop of anything or hit any ice for the entire ride home. God is good.

We celebrated my big sis's birthday Friday evening. It was good to have all of the siblings under one roof. Guess what we had for her bday dinner??? Deer meat :) I ate entirely too much and was full, happy, and sleepy for the rest of the night.

Sunday was such a beautiful day. I absolutely love Sallis on Sundays...especially when the weather is as pretty as it was. We went to my favorite church and listened to my favorite preacher. I found it pretty neat that the one Sunday we are home visiting, he preaches on parenting :) To be quite honest, I have been so caught up in "what to expect when expecting" that I haven't really thought about "what to expect when parenting". But after today...any doubt or worry about the parent I should be that may have come about in the future, is gone.

I was reminded that God has entrusted Blake and I to take care of this amazing gift He has bestowed upon us....because this little one is indeed, a gift. The best way to do that is to love God with all my heart, trust in Him and His word, and let Him take care of the rest. I am so grateful that God has trusted us to be parents to this special gift. Like I've said before, may His love shine through us for this child. I want to be everything I can for this sweet baby.

To our baby B: You are the sweetest gift from our amazing God and I promise to love you with my whole heart. I can't wait to meet you.

A Girl?

We had our baby doc appointment yesterday. It was at 2:30 and we arrived an hour early this time. Go us! :) But it was actually due to the weather. I have become a crazy person over bad weather. A tornado hit the lake almost a year ago and since then, the reality that it can actually happen where I am scares the heck out of me (and I am pretty sure I stress my poor hubs out with the craziness). So anyway, we left an hour early to beat the storm. I did not want to be driving in it. Our sweet doctor's office let us in early and we were in and out of there before our orignal appointment time!

I was really, really hoping we would get to see the baby again this time. No sonogram. BUT we did get to hear that sweet, sweet heartbeat. When the nurse found it, I looked at Blake and said, "Do you still believe that is a baby boy heartbeat, Blake?"

He said, "Of course."

The nurse looked at me with a funny grin and said, " I would never, ever guess the sex of a baby BUT lots and lots of times, when the heart rate is in the high 160s-170s...IT'S A GIRL! But it can go either way. I have seen it go either way."

Of course, we know it could go either way...I mean there IS a 50-50 chance and my baby boy may just have a really high heart rate :)

When the nurse left the room, Blake had this little grin on his face. I asked him if he was going to be upset if this was, indeed, a girl. He said he would be thrilled either way. I know he would. He has just been saying from day one that he really thinks it is a boy and I know he wants a little hunting partner :) Girls can do anything boys can do! She can hunt, fish, play sports...all of that good stuff he is dreaming about doing with his child. Like I said in a previous post, if we do have a baby girl on our hands, she will have him wrapped around her sweet finger. I just know it and I can't wait.

I was also really, really hoping the doctor would tell me that he would determine the sex of the baby at our next visit. I will be 17 weeks at that visit. Nope. We will not find out until the first of April. I should be around 21 weeks or so. That's okay. We are enjoying every precious moment of this journey. I am so excited and so very blessed.

To our baby B: Boy or girl... I can't wait to see your face.

It is no secret that Blake is hoping for a boy but I have a feeling if this little one is a girl....she will have him wrapped around her finger. We go to the doc Tuesday and then we should be making our next appointment to find out the sex of the baby! I am so excited.

I'm not my own...

I've been carried by You all my life.



You've become my heart's desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free



My sentence to baby B:
When the world has broken you down, His love will set you free.

Lately

My sister talked me into becoming a "blogger" since we are expecting and we live so far away from family and friends so I do believe this is a neat way for everyone to keep up with us and our growing butterbean. Another friend of mine suggested that I print out all of my posts so that I can make a scrapbook for the baby. I love this idea. So, I am going to do just that--if I can figure out how to do it.

My Dad got the baby his/her baby book for Christmas (it is the sweetest thing) and it asks me to list certain things I have been craving lately. Since I have had an interesting variety of food cravings lately, I figured I would share:

Chocolate Pudding Snack Packs and Strawberry Jello Snack Packs--We have had to buy these in bulk for the past few weeks. I could snack on these things all day.
Fruit RollUps--I keep these in my purse at school :)
The hibachi grill we have in town probably classifies me as a regular these days. I could eat plate after plate of rice. (getting hungry just talking about it)
Blueberry pancakes--yeah I know, these are probably not the healthiest cravings to have when I am prone to gaining weight over the next 6 months.
Apple Juice--I am pretty sure I am not the only one doing some damage to the apple juice. Blake Barber has a glass with me every evening.
Deer Meat--I have always been a big fan of deer meat but lately, I have asked Blake to cook it for me several times a week. He is the best and I am sure he doesn't mind eating that either.

The same friend who suggested the blog scrapbook idea, mentioned writing a sentence a day to the baby so that they will have a full journal to read and appreciate when they get older. I loved this idea as well. I think she meant after the baby is born, but for every blog post, I am going to write a sentence for my sweet pea.

I loved you long before I even knew about you.

God is good...

ALL THE TIME.



Thank you, Lord, for a better day. You're beautiful.

Feeling Fearful?

Have you ever had so much weighing on your heart, that when you try to pray about it, you have no words--all you can do is speak His name in hopes that He will speak to your heart? I had one of those moments today. I am a firm believer that sometimes, that is all it takes.
This is what I found waiting for me in my Inbox today. It amazes me how God knows exactly what to say at the most perfect time.....

Your heart is the well-spring of all of your life. It is the place from which your reactions, your attitudes, your actions all bubble up from. All that you are as you walk through this day, with whatever it holds, will spring from your heart. That’s why God tells us specifically to guard that well-spring.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

We are wise to check what is residing in that well-spring. Among the many things we find in our hearts there will always be one of two very specific things in the lead – faith or fear.

One will always be on the top of the heap. They cannot both occupy the same place. If faith resides there your well-spring will pour out peace and confidence in God’s care for you, even in the midst of uncertain times. If fear resides there anxiety and depression will be the natural outward flow.

Faith or Fear. Every day we choose. Many times a day we choose. When the evening news brings signs of foreboding unemployment, financial crisis and uncertainty tomorrow, fear is the natural response. That well-spring will pour forth worry and stress. When relationships are on edge and illness or hardship looms, anxiety churns within us creating it’s own downward cycle. Faith over-rides fear. Fear over-rides faith.

God tells us exactly what to do when fear grips our hearts and takes over our minds. Left unchecked it will scatter our faith like confetti in the wind and leave us anchor-less in the storms of life. Listen to God’s very specific instruction from Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV).

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus.”

What a simple formula! Not easy – but simple. Worry is a call to prayer. The moment you become aware of that churning anxiety over ANYTHING, go immediately to your Heavenly Father. Present your requests to Him. Then turn your thoughts and prayers to thanksgiving.

Thank Him for His promise to never forsake you. Thank Him for the power of His name and for His intimate knowledge of every detail. Thank Him for His track record in your life when He has been there for you in the past. Thank Him that He works all things together for your good as you trust Him. Thank Him that He is at work establishing His kingdom in your life.

Your faith and trust in God will over-ride your fear and His peace will actually put a guard around your heart and mind so fear cannot over run you. It’s supernatural and it’s real.

Father God, I confess that fear is often my first response to challenges that come my way. May I be conscious today of choosing to trust You with every detail of my life. Help me to have faith to leave the question marks in Your control and to trust You to carry me and sustain me with your peace that is beyond understanding. Today I choose to put my trust in You. Fill my heart with child like faith today I ask in the strong name of Jesus, amen.

Thank you, Gail Rodgers, for allowing God to speak to my heart through you today.

This Week

How your baby's growing:
Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her/His essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

I love getting these weekly updates about our sweet baby's growth. It amazes me how fast these changes occur and how much is happening in my belly! I am still on cloud nine. I am pretty sure I will never come back down. I think about this little one all throughout the day. I can't wait until our next doc appointment which is February 1st.

I had a dream a few nights ago. We had a baby boy! Blake just "knows" it is a boy. I honestly don't have a "hunch" as to what it is. I am just praying for a healthy baby. I believe that is all that really matters to both of us. I sure can't wait to find out, though :)

The most precious gift ever...

Blake and I received the most precious gift for Christmas this year. We will meet this little angel in August. What a sweet anniversary present this will be! I can't even begin to express the love and gratitude I feel in my heart for my God. I don't think the fact that I am with child really set in until yesterday--our first appointment :) It will be a day we will NEVER forget. For starters, Blake and I got lost on the way to the appointment. Imagine that. If you know us, you know it is not uncommon. We even had our trusty TomTom that Blake's family gave him for Christmas and still managed to get lost. I am almost ashamed to even admit we got lost but in the midst of the madness--us both frantic that we would be late for our first appointment--we both just looked at each other and laughed. Oh, how I love that boy. So...we arrive at the doc..with no time to spare...I was pretty nervous. When they called us back, the nerves stayed in the lobby. I immediately fell in love with the entire staff. Everyone that I came in contact with was so nice and made us feel right at home. Finally, it was time to meet our doctor. I knew I loved him as soon as he walked in the door and asked us, "Which one of you is pregnant?." He had a wonderful sense of humor and made both of us feel so comfortable. After the meet and greet and the run down of what was about to occur, it was time to see our baby! Words cannot express the feelings that came over me when I heard that heart beating and saw our little butterbean on that screen. I wish I could have caught a picture of the look on Blake's face. Just that look alone brought me to tears. Right then and there,our lives changed. It hit us that we were going to become parents. We are having a baby! I have never felt so close to God in my life. I am well aware that anything good in my life, anything good inside of me is my heavenly Father. I don't deserve anything good in this life, and yet he continues to bless me and my family. I just pray that Blake and I can let His love shine through us for our child and that we can be exactly who we need to be for this little one. Please keep us in your prayers as we begin this exciting journey.